Being a Mom is Hard Work

Posted on 01/11/2012 by admin

Being a Mom is hard work. We live this every day…

By implementing the tips below, the payoff will be amazing and your children will thank you – as there is nothing better than a happy Mom!

  • Remind yourself that “It is okay!” – I cannot stress this enough! Moms need to remind themselves daily (and usually more than once, twice – maybe ten times a day) that “It is okay.” For example: “I am tired.” It is okay to be tired and to go to bed 30 minutes early tonight. “I can’t get to the store today.” It’s okay. The store will still be there tomorrow. “I cannot get my friend called back today.” It is okay to just send her a quick text and tell her that you will try to call her tomorrow. “I can’t find the time to unload the dishwasher this afternoon.” It’s okay to ask your partner to help you with this later. Give yourself a break. You are doing the most difficult job on the planet. You are not going to be able to get to everything every day. Ease up on yourself!
  • The biggest harm to Moms is other Moms - What do you think when you look at the other Moms at playdates? Or other Moms when you are at the store? Is the first thought in your head something like “why can’t I look as put together as her with kids that are that well behaved?” (If not, good for you!) Looking at what other Moms “can do” (like how many playdates she hosts, how her children behave, how her kids are dressed, what kind of meals she cooks every day, all the jobs she works – you get the idea) is not a healthy way to measure your own abilities as a mother. You are your OWN best mother. Remember, you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors or what is happening when you are not around. Do not compare yourself to other Moms as it is like comparing apples to oranges – you are not privy to all the details of their lives. Just focus on doing the best you can for your family!
  • Do not fight your feelings - If you are feeling sad, allow yourself to feel sad. If you are hungry, eat something. If you are tired, lay down while the kids are at school or napping. Don’t try to cover up or hide your feelings. If you are experiencing negative feelings, find someone to talk to. (Keeping in your negative feelings is similar to keeping the garbage in and we know what happens to the garbage when it doesn’t get put out so please talk about your feelings with someone.) Be good to yourself and that means taking the time to listen to yourself and then responding (not ignoring!).
  • Create a “Team” - It is so important for you to surround yourself with people that can provide you with support – from your partner, to your friends, family, neighbors and even babysitters. You need and deserve help! Remember that saying “It takes a village to raise a child?” Build your “village.” Work together with your team to provide support to each other. Barter childcare with neighbors. Trade nights taking care of each others’ children so that you can have a date night with your partner. Make a plan with your partner on who will handle dinner on which nights of the week. Plan family get togethers on Sunday afternoons at alternating homes so that you can have “adult time” while the cousins play together. Ask your partner to watch the children on Wednesday nights from 7pm – 8pm so that you can take a long bath with no interruptions. Learn to work together with your team and you and your children will benefit from it.
  • Fill yourself up! - Think of yourself as a cup. As your day goes on, you are pouring more and more of yourself out of the cup. At some point, you will be empty. What happens then when your 2 year old asks the same question for the tenth time? Do you snap? The key is to refill your cup throughout the day by taking care of yourself. You may only be able to refill in small portions. But some refill is better than none at all. Take the time during the day to sit for 5 minutes and do nothing but rest your eyes. Plan a “girls’ night out.” Lean on your “team” that you created. Buy that book that you have been wanting and then schedule 30 minutes on your calendar to read tomorrow. Trust me, your whole family will benefit when Mom is happy. So take the time to fill yourself up and you will see and feel the results!
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“Gifting” Your Child This Holiday Season

Posted on 12/14/2011 by admin

Now more than ever, the holidays provide a wonderful learning opportunity for your children.

With the economy in turmoil, families may be forced to cut their holiday spending.  Take this time to share with your children what the holidays are really about.  

  • Talk to your children about the difference between “gifts” and “things” – Have conversations with your children throughout the holiday season about what is a “want” and what is a “need.” Teach them to identify the different things in their life that are “needs” and which are “wants.” Help them understand that going to the park or reading a book together is a “gift” and not a “thing”…and that these kind of gifts are better than material things.
  • There are negative effects possible from receiving too many material presents - Studies have shown that children who are given too many material gifts during the holidays can experience decreased concentration, over-stimulation, desensitization to things and people, the loss of the concept of “enough” and the feeling that the child’s value is based on what (or how much) he/she receives.
  • More than material gifts, children love to spend time with their parents - Make coupons for a “day at the park with dad” or a “day at the museum with mom.” Use the holidays as an opportunity to give your children the gift of your time…and make sure to follow through!
  • Exchange only homemade gifts - Start a new tradition that all gifts given within your family are to be homemade. This instills the notion of making something from nothing and how gifts do not have to have a dollar amount attached to them to be special.
  • Teach your children about giving - Ask your children: “What are some ways we can give to others during this time?” Encourage your child to pick a good cause to support instead of receiving a gift. Sponsoring a needy child, taking toys to sick children, giving clothing at a local shelter or serving a meal at a soup kitchen teaches the joy that comes with giving and how giving can be as rewarding as receiving.
  • You can still give gifts, but giving less makes each present more special - Think about something that is of interest to your child and try making it an educational process. For example, if your child has asked for a guitar, one gift could be a book about guitars, another could be a coupon for a trip to a guitar store with dad, the third could be a movie about a famous guitar player, the fourth could be guitar lessons for a month and the final gift – the guitar.
  • Most important, spend this holiday session reminding your children that the true gifts in life are being with family and friends!
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ALL NEW – Tammy’s Two At Two on Facebook

Posted on 10/24/2011 by admin

You’ve been asking, we’ve been listening…and now it’s here!

Tammy’s Questions & Answer Session with Parents – Tammy’s Two At Two!

 

Post your parenting questions on our Facebook page next to the Tammy’s Two @ Two logo and Tammy will answer two of the questions every day at 2:00pm.

Parenting expert, Tammy Gold, is looking forward to answering all your parenting questions from potty training, to sleep training, to sibling rivalry, to discipline, to communicating with your teenager, to negotiating your nanny’s new contract, to developing a parenting plan with your spouse.

Post your questions here:  Facebook next to Tammy’s Two @ Two logo and check back each day at 2:oopm Eastern to see if she answered your question!

 

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Need Help with Your Nanny Taxes?

Posted on 10/19/2011 by admin

Nanny Payroll Service

Unsure how to handle the confusing, overwhelming topic of your Nanny Taxes?

We have proudly partnered with Homework Solutions/NannyTax to provide YOU with the information you need around nanny wages and taxes – especially as 2012 is just around the corner!

Homework Solutions is offering our clients the Expert Start Up Program (or ESP) for FREE. The complimentary ESP program (a $100 value to your family) has no further obligation on your part.

By enrolling using our Agency Code (GNG8744), you are entitled to:

  • Complimentary telephone tax consultation– let their experts address all your payroll concerns at no cost or obligation.
  • Complimentary payroll analysis– determine the employee’s payroll deductions and the employer’s tax obligation and budget.
  • Complimentary employment agreement compensation language– hourly rate analysis protects employers from unpaid overtime claims and insures you and your employee understand the compensation agreement.
  • Complimentary registration with taxing authorities– to establish proper employer accounts.
  • Complimentary New Hire Reporting– a legal requirement of all U.S. Employers.

Go to http://www.4nannytaxes.com/esp or call 1-800-NANITAX to take advantage of this offer! Families MUST use our NannyTax Agency Code when contacting HomeWork Solutions. OUR AGENCY CODE IS GNG8744.

Families are under no obligation to enroll in any of HomeWork Solutions’ fee-based nanny payroll or nanny tax compliance services – but they would love to help you simplify your ‘nanny taxes’ long term.

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A Tantrum? Really?

Posted on 10/05/2011 by admin

Have you ever watched your beautiful baby turn into a screaming mess right in front of your eyes?

Alleviating temper tantrums will result in happier parents and happier children -
So what can a parent do?

  • Learn to recognize what type of tantrum it is – Tantrums are usually one of two types:  Manipulative or Frustration.  Manipulativetantrums are what children use when they know their behavior will result in the outcome they desire.  For example:  Dolly throws a tantrum because she knows Mommy will hold her if she screams.  Frustration tantrums are when a child is feeling overwhelmed in a situation and does not know how to express his emotions.  For example:  Kurt cannot reach a toy on the shelf in the closet but doesn’t know how to ask for help so instead he just begins screaming.
  • Be aware of what is causing the tantrum  - Tantrums are usually the result of:
    ~ Your child’s mental and motor skills developing more quickly than his communication skills
    ~ Your child’s desire to gain independence
    ~ Your child’s inability to communicate what he is feeling
    ~ Your child feeling as if he is not getting enough attention
    ~ Your child experiencing stress for some reason
  • Begin to recognize when, where and what triggers your child’s tantrums - If tantrums happen in a particular place or situation, try to prevent the child from being a part of that.  For example, if the tantrums usually occur during a long car ride, try stopping every hour and running around with the child to burn some energy.  Or if the tantrums occur while in the candy aisle at the grocery store, avoid the candy aisle the best you can.  If your child throws a tantrum when in a restaurant, it is usually because he is bored – too much “adult time.”  Find some special toys that the child can only play with when at a restaurant.  Create a special “restaurant treat bag” that you take along whenever you go out to eat and let the child relieve his boredom by playing with a new toy – you will be amazed at how the child’s tantrums will decrease with the increase of fun, new activities!
  • Children want to be heard and understood - If your child is throwing a tantrum, use it as an opportunity to teach your child after acknowledging that you hear and understand what she is saying.  By using small 3 – 4 word phrases, let your child know that you hear her.  For example:  ”I know you are mad.  I know you are mad.”  Let the child see that you hear her.  Then, begin to teach her how to use her words to express herself.  For example:  If your child cannot get a book off the shelf, say to her “I know you are mad.  I know you are mad.  Say ‘help” and point.  See (and point to the book at the same time) – ‘help.’”  Teach your child how to use her words and hand motions to express what she wants.  Once she knows that you hear and understand her, she will be ready to learn what to do next time.
  • Tantrum-proof your child’s surroundings -Remove all breakable items out of the child’s sight so there is no temptation to touch an item and then have to be told “no.”  By taking away the temptations and leaving the child with only things that are safe and acceptable to play with, the number of tantrums will go down.  You can also tantrum-proof by providing age-appropriate games, toys and activities for your child.  By doing so, your child will not become frustrated while trying to engage with something that is not appropriate for his skill level (which usually results in a tantrum).
  • Staying calm during the tantrum is very important - Don’t make the situation worse by losing your cool.  Stay in control of yourself and don’t yell – this will scare the child even more.  The child is already afraid because of the emotions he is experiencing so don’t add to his fear – instead remain calm.
  • Tantrums can occur less by spending quality time with your child - Quality time means giving the child your undivided attention for short periods of time (even as little as 5 minutes at a time) on a very regular basis throughout the day.  Most tantrums are a result of your child wanting attention.  So make sure to give your child lots of positive attention, praise, hugs and kisses.  You can never give too many hugs and kisses!
  • Do you want to learn more about dealing with tantrums? Let us know – Tammy would be happy to share more of her incredible strategies with you!
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MOST Amazing Mealtime Product!

Posted on 09/15/2011 by admin

I just saw and tried the MOST amazing products and I had to share with you!

The makers of Lansinoh Breastfeeding Products (a trusted name – helping moms for years) makes a complete line of Toddler Mealtime Products.  I just tested some on my 6, 2 and 10 month old and they all loved them!  The cups, spoons, forks are all toys and the kids literally were quiet as we prepared dinner.  All of the products “wobble” and the kids play with them like toys.  The best part is that the cups have two parts (easy to clean and hygeinic) and a straw and are the perfect transition from bottle to cup.

The single best mealtime products I have ever seen for kids from 0 all the way to 6!

Look out for mOmma products from Lansinoh.  They can be bought here:  mOmma products.

I believe and I bet they will be a hit!  Playing and keeping busy is the best way to have calm family meals!

Buy these amazing products here:  mOmma products

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TV Show Looking for Parents who Cross the Line

Posted on 09/09/2011 by admin

Bill Cunningham Show looking for guests for show:

TV SHOW LOOKING FOR PARENTS WHO CROSS THE LINE:
Are you fed up with someone’s parenting style? Do you feel like your parents are crossing the line with your relationships? Are you and your spouse/partner on a different page when it comes to parenting?

If you or someone you know are fed up with people getting involved with how you raise your kids, we want to hear your story! Please call Chanel from the Bill Cunningham show – 212.419.7473 or 646.701.4873 or email comari@billcunninghamshow.com

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School days are upon us!

Posted on 09/07/2011 by admin

I can’t believe how fast summer goes -
My girls are definitely ready to go back to school.  But am I?

  • Create a transition for back to school – Talk to your children about the upcoming start of the new school year.  For example, say “Yes, we can stay out late tonight, but next week we are going to start going to bed earlier to get ready for school.”  Regardless of age – speak to your children about the summer winding down and the school year beginning, as well as the changes that will take place in schedule, activities, etc.
  • Allow your children to express any concerns or fears they may have about the upcoming school year -  Talk to your children about the teachers they will have, the classes they will be taking and the other children that will be in their classes.  Allow them the opportunity to express what they are excited about and what they are nervous about.  Talking this through will help your children deal with their emotions around the new school year.
  • Use the “back to school transition” as a way to strengthen the family - Shop for school supplies together using a budget set by parents and child.  If the discussion of “I need what everyone else has” comes up, use it as a way to educate your child on what your family values are and the difference between “needs” and “wants.”  If age appropriate, bring up the topic of peer pressure, drinking and drugs.  Establish rules together as a family that will be in place before school starts.  Take an active interest in school and support your child during this transition.  This will create a strong foundation for their education.
  • Look for signs of physical distress in your children - If your child is experiencing headaches, stomach aches or abnormal fatigue, these could be symptoms of a physical manifestation of his/her anxiety about the return to school.  If your child is displaying these signs or symptoms, have him/her checked out medically.  Also speak to your child about what is really going on with their feelings about school.  Try to find a way to work through the anxiety together.
  • Check in often with your child - Talk to your child on a regular basis about school activities, homework, friends, sports and teachers.  Make sure the child is able to keep up with the new time commitments of school, combined with sports programs and after school programs.  If there is a great deal of activities during the week, then perhaps some activities can be taken away during the weekend.  Check in with each child individually to see what he or she can manage in regards to keeping up with school and activities.
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Posted in Classes, Gold Parent Coaching, School | Leave a comment

Let’s Go on Vacation!

Posted on 08/03/2011 by admin
Traveling with kids can be fun -
here some great ideas to make a trip easier.

 

  • Let the kids be a part of the planning process – Ask your children where they would like to go and what they would like to do on the trip.  Spend time on the computer together looking at different websites and activities.  If you have teenagers, let them help with the actual executing of the trip.  Show them how to book a hotel, book a plane ticket and rent a car.
  • Make a story of your planned trip –  Draw a picture with your children of what the new location will look like and what you will do once you get there.  Use pictures out of magazines or off the internet to add extra color and fun (like a picture of the exciting swimming pool at the hotel).  This is a great way to prepare your children for the upcoming trip.
  • Talk to your children the whole time (from beginning to end) - Talk to your children before the trip, during the trip and after the trip.  Tell them in age-appropriate sentences where you are going, how long you will be gone, and what is going to happen during the trip.  Make sure to check in with the children throughout the trip – ask them how they are feeling, what they are liking, not liking and make sure to tell them about what the next upcoming event is.
  • Be prepared if traveling by plane - Don’t check any medicines or essential items!  Instead carry them in your carry-on bag, as checked luggage can easily get lost or misplaced.   Before getting on the plane, do a lot of walking around the airport terminal with your children.  Look for new things to talk about and point out the airplanes parked at the windows.  It is easier to burn your child’s energy before getting on the plane instead of after.  For younger children, give them a pacifier or a bottle to suck on during take-offs and landings.  The pressure change can really affect a child’s ears so be ready before the plane takes off. 
  • Mimic the schedules and sleeping environment for the child – Wherever you are staying, it is very important to keep the baby as close to his normal schedule as possible from nap times, to bedtimes, feeding times and bath times.  Also, re-create the surroundings that your baby is use to having at home when sleeping.  Bring along favorite bedsheets, blankets and crib toys so it is easier for the baby to go to sleep.  Both of these will help a baby more quickly, and happily, adjust to the change.
  • Bring new games, toys and activities for the children - Kids can get bored on a trip whether they are in a car, on a plane or in a hotel room.  So bring some new and fun items for them to stay occupied with.  But introduce the new items slowly (one at a time over the course of the trip) instead of giving them all at once.  You want the new items to last for the entire trip.
  • Include activities for all ages during the trip – From time at a pool for the little ones, to time in a museum for the older ones – make sure to plan activities that are age-appropriate for each person on the trip.  Mix the schedule up so that you aren’t doing all the adult activities for days in a row and then finally a day for the younger children.  Instead do alternating days or even two activities in one day (one for adults and one for children).   This will help keep everyone engaged and involved during the trip.
  • Most importantly, include educational activities as well as fun activities – Vacations are a great time to introduce children to different cultures, histories, animals and foods.  Trips are a terrific way for children to really understand the differences that exist in our world today!
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Posted in Infants/Newborns, Toddlers, Travel, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Are You Ready for Camp?

Posted on 07/06/2011 by admin

Don’t you wish you were headed to camp?

Camp time is here!
I wanted to shared some of my time-tested
(and daughter-tested) tips with you.

  • Visit the camp before sending your child – Watch the other campers that are there to ensure that they feel comfortable and are having fun in the environment.
  • Take your child to visit the camp before starting -  Let your camper start to connect with the other campers, counselors and staff prior to officially starting.
  • Encourage your children to tell you what they liked and did not like.  (Remember to listen!)  – Your experience with the camp may be much different than theirs.
  • Think about ways you can help your child be comfortable at camp - Is there a special necklace she can wear?  Or an object he can put in his pocket as a reminder that they are loved?  How about a surprise note in their lunches every day?  Or a special stuffed animal to sleep with at night?
  • When arriving at camp for the first day, help your child meet the other campers - Plan on spending a few minutes at camp on the first day to walk around with your child and meet the other campers.
  • Stay in touch with the counselors - Make a plan to call the counselors once a week or to spend a few minutes with them when you drop your camper off.  Ask questions about how your child is doing, what his/her attitude is and if he/she is having any challenges (like problems with another camper or struggling with one of the actitivites).
  • Make sure your child is wearing cool and comfortable clothing - No heavy or scratchy fabrics as this can hinder the camper during activities.
  • For sleep-over campers - If your child is not allowed to have a phone, give him/her a journal or plenty of paper so that he/she can write to you and express the feelings and emotions about the camp experience.
  • Remember, it is all about your child being comfortable at camp!  Do whatever it takes to make sure that your camper is comfortable, not just on the first day but every day.  Ask a lot of questions and jump in and handle any situtation that is bothering your child.  Comfort = Fun and FUN is what camp is all about!
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